Once,
she had
conversations with God
when her world
was Barbie dolls,
giggles, hide-and-seek
and pigtails.
Then, a grown-up man,
a Vietnam Vet,
took her
to the deserted cove
of a beach.
The gulls,
the crabs,
the Pacific waves,
and the Cove Who Saw All
tried to save her,
and she lost God.
Since then
she searches the shores
and her hurricane-ravaged mind
through all the
debris
for any sign
sifting through sand
and shifting dunes
in between the ribs
of bleached bones,
in the rusty echos
of sea shells
and frosted gifts of glass.
She thinks she hears him
in the tearing of her heart
in the blue, blue sky,
in her lover’s creased thigh
in the fat man’s white lie –
the one who eats ice cream
to opera
while he stands
in the waves and waves
goodbye
in all things awry,
in the sound
of the kelp
as it screams her name,
she was sure it was him,
but found instead
decaying flesh
of the flying fish
the fisherman left
to rot.
She once looked
in the locket
of her heart,
finding only ashes
and sharp
edges
and when finally
he came to her
door
and knocked,
she gazed out the window
and refused
to answer.
Debs this is very powerful, I can feel your anguish and your hopelessness and it makes me … I cannot find the right words, just thanks for being so open and brave in sharing this with us.
Love to you
Candy
Debbie, I dont think I have read this one. Is it new, It makes my heart hurt. Love ya. Mom